Jack and The Genie
by Emx
Summary: Well, it's pretty much in the title... Reviews would be nice, but whatever...


Just a short story that I thought of four o'clock in the morning the other day when I couldn't sleep. It was one of the better ideas that I've had, so I decided to write it down. Anyway, read it and let me know what you think in the form of a review… Oh, and if you like it check out the better two of my other three shorts.

Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, not making money, don't own anything…

**Jack and the Genie**

Somewhere, in the darkness of an eternal cage, a being stirred from its slumber. Turning into a wisp of grey-blue smoke it climbed out of the spout and appeared before its awakener.

* * *

(I need proper scene dividers!)

Captain Jack Sparrow had just escaped the redcoats chasing him from a large mansion, by ducking nimbly into an alley, when he tripped and fell face first into the mud. Shaking himself to clear his head as he got up, he gave his new possessions, which comprised of a gold-plated candlestick, an emerald necklace, two silver spoons, a silver fork, and a blue china teapot, a once over, checking for any damage that may have been caused by his fall. The teapot was a bit grimy, but undamaged. He wasn't quite sure why he took it upon himself to seize ownership of the thing – it wasn't a particularly attractive teapot; old and used, and the colour was fading, but nevertheless it seemed like a good idea at the time. He wiped off the worst of the mud and was about to find his way back to the Pearl, when a strange mist seeped out of the spout and materialised into the shape of a very attractive, Jack had to admit, woman with cascading black hair, dark tanned skin and minimal clothing.

"Tha's interesting…" Jack slurred, as the woman brushed away the remaining mist, or were they cobwebs? "An' I was in the belief tha' genies came from magic lamps, not used teapots."

"You'll have to excuse me if I don't do this properly," the genie spoke, "I'm a bit groggy. Being asleep for years in such a small space is never good."

"Tha's quite awright, muhlady, I'm bit groggy meself. The owners of the mansion 'ad some rather potent rum kept in their pantry."

"Right, well, lets see, you look like you've seen a few genies in your time, so you probably know the drill… Well, just for the record, I am Mahala, O Great One, and I thank you greatly for freeing me from my eternal cage. I am forever in your debt, and to repay you I will grant you three wishes, blah blah blah…"

"Wha's it like? Livin' in a teapot? I've always wondered…"

Mahala the genie gave Jack a look, but then spoke, "Cramped, very cramped. Not the enchanting lifestyle you would expect of a genie. I sleep most of the time, if I can get comfortable. I value my sleep. In fact I had just got into a rather pleasant dream when you disturbed me."

"A thousand apologies, love. 'Ow was I 'sposed to know that cleaning up an ol' teapot would result in you? Normally, ones like you come from lamps, not beverage holders."

"I didn't choose to stay in the teapot! Anyway, I thought that I might get some peace in there, instead of being bothered constantly by people who are rubbing every lamp they can in search of me"

The two of them shared an uncomfortable silence for a moment. Then Jack decided to make good of the situation. "Well, Maharajah…"

"Mahala, O Great One."

"Well, these three wishes? I'm able to wish for anythin', can I?"

"You can't wish for more wishes. Or time travel. Well, you can, but I don't like to because it's very awkward, temporal time distortion and all that…" She trailed off.

"Is the teapot water-proof?" Jack asked randomly.

Surprised, the genie answered. "Yeah, it is. What a curious question. Nothing but myself gets in or out."

Jack looked satisfied and proceeded to ask another question. "Is living forever a possibility?"

"Take it from me; it's not that great…"

"'Ow long you been stuck 'ere then?"

"Such a long time, well over four thousand years…"

"Didn't know they 'ad teapots four thousand years ago."

The genie frowned in thought for a moment, biting her lip lightly. She dismissed the comment with a gentle shake of her head that sent her long black hair flowing softly back, misting at the ends. "Yeah, well, I have to do with what I can get. Proper magic golden lamps don't come cheap these days."

"Five-fingered discount, love…"

"You're suggesting I steal a lamp!" The genie looked shocked, "I can't, anyway. I'm inside that old thing constantly, unless someone comes along and frees me temporarily. Then they make their wishes hurriedly, and I'm stuck back inside there. Oh, how I long to be back inside my first golden lamp. I had the place just how I liked it – silk cushions everywhere, the place lit by hundreds of candles. It's very dark inside there, I'll have you know! No light from outside gets in, none at all!" Mahala sighed softly, seemingly lost in the ironically happy memory of her very first prison.

Jack coughed lightly, bringing the woman's attention back to him. He didn't quite have as fond memories of _his _first prison and he didn't fancy testing out another one today. All this talk was fine, but the soldiers would probably still be looking for him, and he wasn't going to feel safe until he was back aboard his precious ship.

"Me wish?"

"Yes, yes," the genie said despondently, "What is your first wish to be?"

"I wish to have in my possession a map that'll always tell me where I am, an' will always show me exactly where to be 'eading and 'ow to get there."

"Your wish, as they say, is my command." And with that the genie disappeared.

Jack waited a moment. And another. Another moment passed. The genie had not reappeared. He gave a quick scan of his location. A few doors backed into the alley from decrepit houses, and there were rats scurrying noiselessly along the sides. Jack had taken a turn before falling when running through the alley, so the main street was not in sight. He couldn't hear the shouts of redcoats on the prowl, so he decided to risk it. He gathered up his things, including the teapot, and was about to head back when he heard a POOF behind him.

"Wha' took you so long!" Jack asked incredulously once he had spun around to see the genie there, with the map in her outstretched hands.

"It's not easy to get a map like that, I'll have you know!" Mahala snapped back as Jack took the map from her, and she placed a hand on her perfectly curved hip defiantly. "I can't just make it out of thin air!"

"An' I 'eld the belief that genies 'ad incredible supernatural powers." Jack leered back.

The genie just glared back, before asking with a forced smile, "Your second wish, O Great One?"

Jack thought for a moment, and readjusted his hat. He could wish for anything in the world. So many things he would change, but Maraca… Manila… whatever her name was, said she didn't like time travel. What did he really want? He had his ship, his darling Pearl; he had his freedom to do whatever he wished; and he had his life, for what use is freedom if you're dead? Gold – he had an isle full of that; women – Tortuga was an isle full of that for him too; rum… Now there was something he could do with…

During the time Jack took to think, the genie had apparently calmed down a bit. She had sighed a few times, making her perfectly shaped bosom heave gently under the gossamer she was clad in, and was now sitting cross-legged on a cushion of smoke in mid-air humming to herself quietly. Jack looked at her pensively, wondering what great crime such a beauty committed to get the punishment she did. He licked his lips quickly, realising how dry his mouth was. He _really _needed a drink.

"Awright, I 'appen to 'ave decided upon me second wish." Mahala looked up at him a small smile on her lips, waiting. "I wish to own a bottle o' rum that never gets empty. Or breaks." He added, knowing full well that he was likely to fall over after drinking an endless supply of rum.

"O Great One, your wish is…"

Jack interrupted the woman, "An' be quick about it this time, love." He told her, flashing her a golden grin.

She bowed curtly and disappeared with a flourish. Jack waited no longer than a minute before the genie reappeared with his request.

"Don't drink it all at once…" She told him with a grin of her own. He uncorked the bottle, toasted no-one in particular, and took a long swig. Satisfied that the bottle was no emptier than it had been, he regarded Mahala reverently.

"S'very good rum." He commented, "After tha' 'be quick' comment I was figurin' you'd fill it wit' the cheap stuff."

"I take pride in my work. Besides, you wish wisely, that in itself should be rewarded."

"Well, I'm very fortunate tha' you think that. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be takin' me rum and me map, and buggerin' off to me ship."

"Uh, O Great One? You have one more wish…"

"I don't wan' it." Jack said, shrugging, and he began to walk off.

"I must go where that teapot goes," Mahala cringed at the word 'teapot', "and if you don't take the last wish, I'm bound to you until you do, or until someone else frees me."

"Tha' could be interesting…" Jack replied at the thought of keeping the sexy genie.

Mahala just rolled her eyes, and looked away, bored. She had heard it all before. Absent-mindedly, mist curled around her, fading her partly from Jack's view.

Jack took a quick swig of his rum. It tasted bloody good, and she must have gone to a lot of effort to get an endless supply of it. "Awright, love, I've decided upon what I'm goin' to do."

Mahala came slowly out of the grey-blue mist, but some remained, swirling around her and in her hair. "Yes, O Great One?"

"I'll be making me third and final wish now. If tha's quite all right with yerself." She nodded, and looked at the pirate expectantly. "I wish…" Jack paused for effect.

"Well?" The genie demanded after a minute of waiting.

"Now, now, patience is a virtue… I wish that ya have the magic lamp you've always wanted an' that it's placed in the very deepest part of the deepest ocean where you shall ne'er be disturbed."

Blinking back a look of shock, the genie said slowly, "I think you've had a little too much of that rum, O Great One."

Sidling up to the genie, Jack draped a careful arm around her shoulder. "A teapot's no place for a lady like yerself, an' I always treat me women well. Fact is, I 'ave e'erything I want, ship, freedom, rum… So there's no point gettin' greedy now, is there? You're welcome to the wish, Mahala, and as the 'O Great One'; I'm orderin' you to accept it."

"Uhh, well, erm, I'm speechless. Your kindness overwhelms me." The genie told him. She stepped out of his hold and turned to face him. "Thank you." She said, smiling, and she placed a small kiss on his cheek.

Jack was about to reply, but before he could, Mahala had melted away. Shrugging, Jack picked up the teapot, and gave it an experimental rub and waited. Nothing happened. He took a long look at his bottle, as if deciding if what happened was real, and smiled contentedly. He swallowed some more rum, gathered up his belongings and headed jauntily towards the street.

FIN


End file.
